This one's for Cpl Joe...

...actually it's for me, but it's dedicated to Joe. I found this one last night and the 7th line had me puzzled. Of course I had it figured out at 3:00 this morning...that's when all my epiphanies happen (whatever). Anywho here goes...and PS to Michelle - you better be the first one to figure out the 7th line!!!

Finite and fickle
These words describe
Me well
I think of
Seven others
Just ask
Mr. Spacey
Now in this
Relatively humble
Mind setting
I can make
A covenant
With you
One that
Shall never
Be broken
Because we
Are a cord
Of four strands
The strongest of bonds
These words
Are sincere
The meaning
Is deep and true
I will not
Take them back
The devil can't
Make me don that
By your power
I have overcome
Him
And I can
Teach others
To take arms
For my covenant
Is
Semper Fidelis
To be forever faithful
And I will
Fight this
Spiritual battle
In faith
In word
In deed

9/8/01 jdh
For Charles Joseph Canning, USMC

My gut hurts from laughing, and here's why...

Let's set the scene...me the football hater extraordinaire was visiting Cheryl and David last night and yes, I watched the super bowl (Live and Let Die was the best part!!!!). My brother calls from the outback hills of Missouri. When he finds out that I'm there, he sends me a little message via Cheryl, "there is language on your blog that is unbecoming of a lady." Now please keep in mind this is slightly paraphrased from what he actually said, because every time I recall this memory I start to bust a gut again. And now in response to my brother, "WHATEVER!"

More poetry is forthcoming. I say that because it's stuck in my brain somewhere. Later.....

I wrote this in honor (or whatever) of black history month.

"My Reply"
2/6/97 jdh

I too have a dream
Not of liberty or equality
But one of eternity
Impossible as it may seem

I too have a vision
I too have seen the promised land
Where my Father & I walk hand in hand
No more division

I too will be free at last
I'll thank God Almighty personally
And He'll say gracefully, "Well done"
And all will have passed

More thoughtful words for Jesse :-)

Well thank you Lord, I finally found it. I've been searching for this poem for weeks. Enjoy!

This pen
that paints a picture
tells a story
stains a shirt...
Is it really a tool?
Can it convey
and comprehend?
Does it really know
when the answer marked
is wrong?
Does it become enraged
and jealous when
another utensil is used?
Can it sense when its
life force is near empty?
Can it feel the embrace
of fat fingers?
And when it lays
down, is it
at peace with its
surroundings?
When a task is done,
does it yearn
for more?
How much can it give?
How long can it last?
How long until it
realizes that its
parameters are
defined by...
CLICK

"artist's tool"
6/21/01 jdh

1/29/05 - the good, bad, and the regretful

WOW! Let me first say that I was given a ticket to the OKC vs Tulsa hockey game and the seat was in a great locale...where the team comes out of the locker room and onto the ice (sure it was near the Tulsa locker room, but who cares?!?). It was also my niece Sammy's 18th birthday (cringe, here comes another grey hair). There was a group consisting of 3 guys, 2 chicks sitting in the row in front of us. They were a neat bunch, and one of them was the kind you want to take home to momma (hell yeah). They turned around during the third period of the game and said to me, "Do you realize how bad you're making us look? Not only do you know the Blazers on a first name basis, but you know the Oilers as well. But you are really knowledgeable of the sport and it's been crazy listening to the two of you get into the game." What a neat compliment. Sammy and I chuckled and said thanks.

Then the bomb dropped. And it was one of those "dirty" bombs with all the bits of metal in them. Kevlar (spelling?) and body armor would not have helped. The game was over...Tulsa beaten on their home ice by the Blazers (hell yeah). So Mr. Take-Me-Home-To-Momma asks his pals what the game plan was. They couldn't agree on anything, so he turns around and says, "Let's ask these fine ladies. Would you like to go out drinking with us?" Oh Lord, I was about to start crying. I wanted so badly to say yes, but I turned them down because I was not about to take my niece out clubbing, pubbing, or whatever. I turned to Sammy and asked her if she was going to be pouty face all the way home, and of course she said yes. I just shrugged and told her that I was not going to go out and drink in front of someone who doesn't drink, whether by age limits or by choice. So to try and make up for it, I took her downstairs at the Tulsa Convention Center and we waited for the guys to come out of the locker rooms. Then we followed the team bus to Wendy's and ate a late supper with the guys. So I guess the night ended up on a good note for her, but not for me. I'm torn apart by the whole affair. I enjoy taking my friends & family to hockey games and doing silly stuff every-so-often, but I can't shake this feeling: that I wish I had gone to Tulsa by myself so I could have gone out after the game. In the end, I know I made the right decision, but why do I feel so much regret about it?

1/26/05 part two

Congratulations are in order. It is January the 26th and I have only broken one of my three new year's resolutions. Here they are: 1) stop drinking all carbonated beverages. 2) start keeping a better check register. 3) decrease usage of my favorite word, you know the one, it rhymes with duck. So guess which one I have broken. Come on, isn't it just completely fucking obvious? Ha-ha!

Seriously though...I've not been saying it everyday. But last night in the span of approximately two minutes I used it at least three times, maybe four (damn stupid pathetic hockey refs).

By the way...have I told you lately that I hate my job and despise my boss? Of course I do love it when she leaves, then I just sit around, goof off, and blog.

I hate having to make up a title...

...which is precisely why half of what I write is marked "untitled." But that's a title though, right? I mean it's the same thing as Logan County putting up a sign on no-name-road that actually says "no-name road." It defeats the whole purpose! Now I shall step off my soap box and give you this to ponder...

If you are truly
America's favorite,
then why are you
sitting at a table
by yourself?
Why is your
face so red
with fury?
Have your people
spurned you?
If you could
be seen now,
the laughter would
echo eternally.

"heinz ketchup bottle"
4/22/96 jdh

They Just Keep Getting Younger

Holy cow! For the first time ever I think I'm part of a fad when the fad is still in full swing! (If anyone understands that, please read further).

So my hockey team went 0/3 this weekend, but who cares, I still love the sport. Two back-up goalies were brought into the lineup because of injuries and family things. These two guys are so baby-faced, but I get the feeling that it's all a front and they're really pushing 30 (like me - HA). Now my current fave player is approx. 22 or 23. Not too bad for a 29-year-old. Well one of the new goalies, who just happens to be the new fave player, turns out to be 20. Holy crap I'm completely robbing the cradle with this one. But I complemented him on his game, told him I liked what I saw (in the hockey sense). Then I asked him for a picture and told him that he had a great smile (and yes I was being sincere). Then my pal Meredith told me "He's only 20!" This thing is giving me a complex.

Well, I'm sorry for this mindless insane babble. Stay tuned for tomorrow and insane poetry. HA!

Hope I don't erase this.....AGAIN!

Eulogy for Caffeine
2/6/97 jdh


trapped, confined
let motionless
within a curved
environment
no walls
just a circular
fence
the great wall
of china
empty
half-empty, half-full
over the rim
never knowing content
nothing can fill this void
hot, scalding
muddy liquid
penetrates
awakens
set the nothingness
in motion
still not enough
piercing, shattering
a cream scream
as powder
drifts like snow
through the
china wall
burnts ashes cinder
as the pseudo-snow
spirals to its death
aided by a
metal apparatus
darkness
brought by
oval being
specks of
light
only to
reveal
a diminished
supply
lower levels
wasting away
back again
to the big
empty
room
within the
great wall
of china


this is the author's first attempt at surrealism. if you get it, good. if you don't get it, well that's the whole idea! current scribblings pending...

(#$&%^$ stupid blog

Oh I could scream! I had just finished typing out my entry, I was highlighting the text to change the font color, and crap if it all didn't just disappear. Well be patient worthy readers, as soon as I calm down, I try to re-post my thoughts...blankety blank blank!

Bumper Stickers

I've come up with a new bumper sticker slogan: "Having your nose rubbed in shit is for pets who crap on the floor, not for hard working employees looking for a little respect!" I can just see all the reports on the news about tail gating and car wrecks from trying to read stickers on cars. Perhaps it's not such a hot idea after all. Those of you who have kept up with the blog now have an update on my current work situation.

In other news - Tuesday's party was awesome! My digital camera died and I only got about 5 or 6 pics, but I was in arm's length of hockey divinity all night long. I also got serenaded by six tone-deaf Canadians 'twas ever-so-magical. But seriously, I had a blast. I got to meet some of the eye candy - I mean players - and I also got to talk to head coach Doug Sauter. I met this girl named Meredith and she's as crazy as I am. All night long she kept saying, "Ooh cut me off a piece of that!" To which I replied, "Hell just give me the whole thing." And the best part is...I didn't make a fool out of myself. I talked with the guys without drooling, stuttering, sighing, or playing the blinky-eyelash-game like the 'arena trash' girls do. They know that I'm real.

I've been browsing other blogs recently just to get some inspiration and ideas for writing. I came across alot of poets and authors. I should start posting my poetic thoughts. I'm just afraid of copyright infringement and stuff like that. I don't want someone stealing my words, my thoughts, or my soul and getting praise for what I've done (hey, I already deal with that kind of shit at work. I don't need it from my blog family too, ya know what I mean?) Anywho poetry to come in the near future. I may dig in the archive and then after the new year write something fresh.

Love to all and remember if you don't hear bones crunching, the body check was null and void. Ooh, another good idea for a bumper sticker!!!

The rabbit is lucky after all....

That's the best part about going to Chinese restaurants -- reading the Chinese zodiac again! It's funny because I usually go with my mom and she's also a rabbit, and yet we're completely different, but that's a good thing otherwise I'd have to kill myself.

But seriously my lucky rabbit year/sign is 24 hours away from paying off. After scrimping, saving, and working myself sick with a second job, I was able to purchase the thing I most wanted -- season hockey tickets for the OKC Blazers. (hopefully I'll be at the plexiglass next year). Tomorrow night is the ticket holder Christmas party and the players will be there! As an added celebration I will be unveiling my Christmas present from-me-to-me....I got my digital camera out of lay-a-away finally. So I'll be going home and reading the manual before tomorrow night. I'll probably also be spending some time on the phone with my Mary Kay consultant asking her what to wear. JOKE! I'm thinking jeans, t-shirt, and my 'bah humbug' hat. Won't I be the life of the party!

In other news -- yesterday I attended church for the first time in two weeks. It was a great worship experience. I kept apologizing to God for being a hockey heathen instead of a pew dweller. Oh yeah, the sermon was pretty good, too. Have I mentioned that I'm not related to anyone there? That's the best part, well, it's a perk anyways.

I love rambling on this site, but I must be going. Semper Fidelis, Semper Expertis to my nephew Joe and his MEU! Hugs to Tristan and Michelle!

Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

I thought I'd grab your attention with a little Monty Python. And if I may be allowed to paraphrase the line....."Help! Help! I'm being suffocated!"

Anywho so here I am again, working on yet another Sunday, heck I even had to work over the holiday as well. Even though it is a pay check and I'll time-and-a-half for holiday pay, I'm not thankful. Right now I'm listening to S&M by Metallica and the work is going rather quickly. Thus I'm taking this break to blog for the first time in well over a week.

I have to take the magnetic poetry board back home. Apparently several co-workers and various other hospital employees have complained about what I write. So I got called into the boss' office and was given a referral for psych counseling. Apparently what is so disturbing to everyone is that my writings tend to be dark, depressing, angry, futile, etc. So I tell the boss, "I don't need counseling. That's why I write. It's my outlet because I don't know any other way to express anger, sadness, depression, fleeting suicidal ideation." (those of you that know me best, realize I would never do anything to harm myself...I mean that's the ultimate sin, right?) So I strike back and write a clever little fall poem about changing leaves colors and trees and a bunch of sick stuff. As an added touch I even made it rhyme (totally against my poetic justice beliefs). But anywho....not a damn word from anyone about how clever or cute is was. Thank God I didn't write a hard copy for future generations to treasure. Stuff like this makes me furious, and makes me put pencil to paper, or magnets to the board, whatever. If I had something to fall back on, I'd probably be writing my resignation right now.

So back to the beginning. Help, I'm being suffocated! It's a never ending cycle. It's the chronic condition that I lovingly call "8-Mile Syndrome." B-Rabbit found his respect, self value, and his escape...perhaps I can, too. I suppose that's my main reason for liking that movie....well, Eminem does look hot, and that helps

I guess I've taken up enough company time in goofing off. I'm back to work now.

Who needs a title?

What are you supposed to do when you have no respect for your boss? More importantly what do you do when the boss doesn't respect you, doesn't listen to your concerns and ideas, and often forgets that you even exist? My Dad says I should quit (he also said a bunch of other stuff...use your imagination). Well, if I had any prospects or something to fall back on, I'd hand in my resignation in a moment. You know, the resignation I've had written out ever since I took this blankety-blank-blank job. I often feel like calling my friend in Los Angeles and cashing in on our suicide pact. Don't worry. It's not for real, it's just a psycho-bizarre coping mechanism.

I feel that I'm never allowed to take pride in my work anymore -- and that just does wonders for my already non-existent self esteem. Moral of the story -- never work for a not-for-profit Catholic affiliated hospital. Just kidding. Many apologies to those who practice Catholicism.

Not to get off the subject, but one of these days I'll get my home computer fixed (beware of DSL frying your modem) and I'll be able to blog on a regular basis. I'll keep you posted on the work events, but now I must go home, dry, eat ice cream, and watch Smallville.

This is for you, Michelle

Hooray, I'm blogging....is that really a word?!? First let me say that I know US relations with the French are currently questionable, but please rest assured that "le bijou" is just my nickname. Anywho here's the latest...

I took my sister Cheryl to her first hockey game on Veteran's Day. My team lost but we had a blast. Got pictures of the team, the beer guy, and even learned something about goal tending from a group of pre-teen little leaguers. Pregame festivities consisted of hot potatoes, cold beer, and the candied-peanut guy saying (in the worst Okie accent ever) "Semper Fidelis." Spelled out phonetically that would be "simpurr fyedelluss." Oh my Lord I wanted to keep walking, but Cheryl and I detoured and talked to the man. I was wearing my USMC sweatshirt in support of my nephew. It was a great night. I even told Cheryl about how Michelle introduced me to nearly every single security guard at the Ford Center when I took her to a game a few seasons ago.

So what do ya think Michelle? Am I blog material yet?