OMG!!!

We're all going to hell in a hand basket. And the new "Bilingual Elmo" is carrying that basket. And the two languages it speaks are English and Spanish. WTF is wrong with this picture? It seems that good old Wally-World is keen on catering to the multilingual communities and if indeed that be the case then why aren't they catering to me? While my totaly comprehension of foreign languages is limited, I do enough to function in society (and to make an ass of myself). Anyway I can speak French, German, pig latin (yes it counts), some sign language (more than just the finger), and I know one word in Czech. So that makes 6 counting English. Holy crap I have this wretched feeling that the next Bilingual Elmo to hit the market will speak ebonics and ghetto. It seems that I keep getting on this soapbox. Perhaps I should just stay up here. There's plenty of room for more. Keep a look out on E-bay. There may be a Tickle-Me-Elmo and Singing-Alphabet-Elmo on there soon. Hell I don't need them anymore. Just looking at them makes me furious. 'Til next time...

OMG!!!

When I read the headline about an Oscar winning director being arrested, I immediately thought of Roman Polanski. But sure he wouldn't be stupid enough to come back stateside and get tackled by the police, or FBI, or whomever (hasn't the statute of limitations run out on that charge yet?!?). And then I find out the man arrested was Oliver Stone. WTF were you thinking there Ollie?!?

And here's the other OMG moment -- I got up and sang for karaoke. The place I was at had a huge mirror and a looked at it and said "Holy shit what I am I doing here?" At this point I would like to let you know that I did not say that out loud. Anywho I did two songs. The first one completely sucked ass. I was so nervous. The other song actually got a cat-call. It was faint but I still heard it. Oh well I just had to let y'all know. If I get motivated I'll go write another installment of Chantez-Moi. But now I'm off to bed...

Confession

Okay, okay. I will confess that I did cry during Episode III. I ain't ashamed to admit it. It was probably silly (at least the guys in the theatre thought it was -- I was the only gal there). I realize that everyone and their dogs knew what Anakin's fate was and could imagine how it happened, but to finally see it and hear it, that's when I lost it. Hearing Darth Vader breathe for what technically was the first time, I started bawling.

Anywho, it was worth the three year wait, and it was worth the $7 I spent on the ticket. This is officially the last time I will pay full price for a movie. I mean it this time. Unless of course Monty Python and the Holy Grail makes another round through the theatres. NEE!

Chantez-Moi

"Minimum Wage"

I will debate any and everyone on this song. It is beyond a doubt They Might Be Giants best work. (many apologies to you oh might Particle Man. You're good, too, but let's face it. This is better). Seriously! Who else could take two words, a whip, a drum, and a keyboard and make it into something completely and insanely hilarious?!? This is a great song to play in the car. So pump up the volume, roll down the windows, sing at the top of your lungs (off key or whatever) and make sure you're in some pansy-ass swanky neighborhood -- I recommend Oak Tree.

5/24/05 jdh

Countdown almost over

Six hours til show time. I'm still at work (ugh). Can I use the force to speed up time? I mean if I can look into the future, why can't I also teleport into the future? Is it really that a big of a deal to disrupt the space/time continuum?!? Anywho, may the force be with you all...and I promise to blog a new edition of 'Chantez-Moi' this weekend.

I hate computers...

I just tried to download 'hello.' Apparently I don't have the right processor on my computer to be able to use it and publish pics on my blog. Damn computers. Anywho, I'm off to write more for my literary project. Five more days -- hell yeah!!

The countdown continues...

...Six more days until Episode III...

...May the force be with us...

The countdown continues...

...14 days until Episode III...

...may the force be with us...

It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world!

And it's crazy, too! Especially in Norman at the baseball stadium. Some friends of mine asked me to go to the game on Thursday but I had to turn them down. Now I wish I hadn't. It would've been nice to be sitting there when Coach Cochell (sp??) did his interview with ESPN. I did go with my friends to the game on Friday night. What a riot. Every news station possible had a crew there. It made the students mad because all the seats behind the dugout were taken.

On the newsok.com website they were posting some letters to the editor. One guy wrote in that Cochell should also apologize to all the white people for saying the word "honky." And now it's Monday and I just found out that coach has submitted his resignation. You think that'll make people happy now?

Incidentally I have NOT become an OU fan. These are my hockey pals and they just invited me to a baseball game (gotta do something during the off-season). The Sooners lost 8-0 on Friday night. Now if I could only see that happen to the football team.....

Literary project

"Chantez-moi" by Julia Dianne Ham

'Mama, I'm Coming Home'

I used to think "Oh crap! I'm listening to Ozzy!" Nowadays my thoughts linger on things more sacred. I have a list of non-religious songs to re-write with Christian themes. I don't have a final draft for this one yet, but the idea goes like this:

A man misses the rapture. At the beginning of the tribulation he just blames himself for being so ignorant. Finally he submits himself to God's purpose and finds himself running to the throne of Heaven shouting "Abba! Father! I'm finally home!"

4/21/05