It's gonna get ugly...

My friend Rocco has rants, and I usually go around listing pet peeves. Since Rocco ain't here to help me rant, I'm going to do it myself. Consider yourself warned.

1. Congratulations are in order to the newest member of my "declassification as a human" list. Arm yourselves with your rotten eggs, rotten tomatoes, dirty underwear, broken glass, semi-automatics, whatever, and welcome John Kerry. Way to go John. What an excellent job of opening your mouth and inserting your foot. Mr. Kerry seems to think that my brother, my nephew, and my friend Erin are uneducated. It doesn't matter how fancy your words are dear John. You just insulted my flesh and blood by calling them idiots, stupid, pathetic, whatever else can I derive from the word 'uneducated.' I've got two words for you John -- FUCK YOU!

2. News flash peeps -- your skin color doesn't qualify as a disability -- which is what I told this black woman as I followed her inside Wal-Mart. I politely said, "excuse me ma'am, but you forgot to display your handicap parking sticker." She shot me a go-to-hell look....totally uncalled for. She had children with her so I decided not to pursue it. I do have enough sense to not embarrass a parent in front of his/her kids...although I must admit that I did show her a few fingers.

3. To my new neighbors in the Ford Center -- quit abusing my goaltender. I like Sean Connors and support him when he's between the pipes. But when Sebastien Centomo is on the ice, you will keep your mouths shut. And as a side note -- turn the damn flash off when you take pictures you moron.

4. I HATE FOOTBALL!!! I am sick and damn tired of taking it up the backside for the fucking football programs in this state -- you will notice that I am including the whole state and not just that pathetic institution in Norman. The time of the hockey game has been changed because of OU and OSU playing on TV this Saturday -- well I hope they both lose, no, I hope they get slaughtered. Maybe we should close all businesses (except for sports bars and restaurants) so we can rush home and watch a crappy sport on TV. Ohh, better yet, let's have police escort so we can get home quickly, fire up the grill, and have some hamburgers with our TV entertainment.

I think that's enough for now. I have to turn on the radio and make sure my hockey team wins tonight. If I get motivated I'll post pics later this week.

LOVE THOSE LONGHORNS!!!


Sorry...just had to get that out of my system. At least one team won down in Dallas this weekend...too bad it wasn't the New Jersey Devils (you get an "attaboy" anyway Brodeur).

In other news...the OKC Blazers start training camp tomorrow (hell yeah)...exhibitions start the 12th...I get to pick up my season tickets on the 12th (can I get another hell yeah)...the 06-07 season officially starts the 20th (insert a third hell yeah here)...

I get the funny feeling that I'm forgetting something...oh yeah...#31 is only three weeks away and here is my official b-day list: 1) complete set of Monty Python's Flying Circus on DVD. 2) the first five Harry Potter books in hardback. 3) the first three Harry Potter soundtracks. 4) Martin Brodeur's rookie card. 5) a phone call from Wayne Kryka letting me know that he's still alive and breathing. 6) another memory card for my digital camera. 7) an opal stud for my nose (because I've been looking at the black onyx for over a year, and it's time for a change). 8) a home ice victory for the Fort Vancouver Pioneers (I'm not entirely selfish you know).

That's not asking for much is it?!? This should cover my birthday/Christmas list for the next few years.

We are officially approaching 4:00 a.m. in beautiful downtown OKC and I can hear my pillow calling my name. You have been reading the ramblings of the "Hamster." I bid you good morning...

...JOB OPENING...

...for any puck pusher man enough to fill this uniform. Please apply within the next 47 days...

Miss me?

So the BIG news of the day is that scientists decided that Pluto is no longer a planet, because it's too small?!? WTF?!? Thanks for playing Pluto...stick your planet status up Uranus and have a nice life in the far reaches of the galaxy.

Anywho, I've been sitting here thinking...what if scientists decided to do the same thing with people...revoke their status as human because they're morons...sounds rather Hitler-esque doesn't it? However, I do have a few suggestions, and here they are in no particular order: Michael Moore (for obvious reasons), Audra from the Rick and Brad morning radio show (you might as well take that Paisley person as well...hell, take all the chick DJs because they suck), Brendan Morrow (my main reason for hating the Dallas Stars), and my new idiot-noisy-picture-hanging-love-making neighbors.

In other news: I'm still employed, still breathing, still waiting for the puck to drop, still wishing I lived some place other than Oklahoma (like Montreal or Toronto), still single, still waiting for the puck to drop, still wanting to take a week's vacation in either Washington DC or Portland, Oregon, still flirting with the cute atheist kid at the library, still waiting for the puck to drop...

For those of you that know all or part of the "beer guy saga" here's an update...he's been kicked to the curb because he's a vicious pig bastard. For those of you keeping score that makes two guys that I've asked out, and two rejections. Sometimes I wonder why I even keep myself on the market. Not to worry though, I've moved on to bigger and better...at least it will be better as long as my insurance pays for my asthma meds...it's a long story and I'll tell you when you're older...much, much older.

Enough rambling for now...enjoy the latest pics...

From Diane G...with better commentary of course...

Keep your eye on the .....~!@#$%^&*\"?



Don't even get me started...



My road rage prevents this from happening...



Dude, I want this shirt!

Who can find the strike zone? Who can find the strike zone?

Not this moron.

57 days until the puck drops!!!

The Ford Center...contrary to popular belief, this is not my second home. Come October 20th it will most likely be my first home -- HA!



The Ford Center had an open house over the summer. It was a blast. The food was free, the carbonated beverages were free, and best of all...I got to toot the zamboni horn.

"Great Aunt Julie's been cursing again. Proceed with caution!"

This is why Jay Leno hates dog costumes...

"Filled with the Dark Side you are. Gnaw your fucking leg off I will."

You know you're easily amused (or just extremely pathetic)...

...when you start taking pics of the bumper stickers on your car (Semper Fi Joe!)...



...or when you start taking pics of yourself (the homeless guys following me around the garden got a real kick out of this)...

Smurf houses for sale or rent -- HA!

"He can call me a flower if he wants to"

Don't do this, don't do that...

***You Are Skiing***
Graceful, athletic, and gusty - you're willing to put it all on the line.You're willing to take big risks for big rewards.
What Winter Sport Are You?http://www.blogthings.com/whatwintersportareyouquiz/



I took this damn quiz 10 times and kept coming up with this answer. Skiing? WTF?!?

...2 months and 7 days until the puck drops...

AHA!

I finally figured out the "quiz posting thing." I have to enter it as plain text. What a crock...the picture for my final words was priceless!

***Your Famous Last Words Will Be:***
"I dunno, press the button and find out."
What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?http://www.blogthings.com/whatwillyourfamouslastwordsbequiz/

...2 months and 14 days until the puck drops...

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

Pet Peeve #1 -- People who don't knock on the bathroom door before trying to open it. Honestly peeps, when I'm sitting there making #2, I'd appreciate a little privacy. Don't come barging in on me while I'm taking care of business. It's called common courtesy and I suggest you get some.

Pet Peeve #2 -- Cops who don't obey traffic rules. Practice what you preach Officer Krupke, and don't you dare try to give me another ticket for "reckless driving" or "failure to yield." And don't bother coming after me just because you're a little short of your monthly quota. Krispy Kreme is cheap, so go sit down and enjoy your coffee and donuts.

Blog things from Sammy

You Are Cookie Monster

Misunderstood as a primal monster, you're a true hedonist with a huge sweet tooth. You are usually feeling: Hungry. Cookies are preferred, but you'll eat anything if cookies aren't around. You are famous for: Your slightly crazy eyes and usual way of speaking How you life your life: In the moment. "Me want COOKIE!"

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz