Ladies and gentlemen, I give you 'crazy-dancin-gay-white-guy.' He enjoys doing the YMCA and having people stuff his drawers with dollar bills. And thank God he doesn't show up to every game.

***NEWSFLASH***

HEY PEOPLE --- I AM NOT FUCKING INVISIBLE --- JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW, IN CASE YOU HAD FORGOTTEN

Don't adjust your TV; I did this on purpose...

If you thought that was nice...

Holy hell...I don't even know where to begin with this one...I tried ten times to rotate this damn picture, but to no avail. I had also left the flash on my camera, which is apparently a big no-no with regard to player safety...not to mention the brief blinding sensation you suffer from momentarily.

Julia's Random Movie Quote: 'I find your lack of faith disturbing.' - Darth Vader, Star Wars Take'>http://www.quizgalaxy.com/quiz.php?id=60">Take this quiz at

My definition

Julia -- [adjective]: Smells like teen spirit 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

It was a good week...

...in the central hockey league. The Blazers played three games and won all of them (HOORAY). The game last Tuesday was the 2nd annual kids' day game. I got to take the day off and was in absolute hockey glory. But the highlight of the week, without a doubt, was last night when the Blazers played the Wichita Thunder (I think I used my favorite word no less than 60 times...I'm not sure...I lost count after 20). The two most notable names for Wichita are Travis Clayton and Jason Duda...both first class assholes (if anyone from Wichita happens to be reading this, I can legally get away with saying that because I've been UNfortunate to have met the pair). Anywho, everybody and their dog had signs last night. The best one was over in section 105 and said "Clayton and Duda starring in Brokeback Thunder." It was a beautiful thing. The second best sign goes to section 120...someone had drawn a picture of a ref with his head stuck up his butt...another thing of beauty. I got to see beer guy for the first time in 2 1/2 weeks. If only crazy dancing gay white guy had been there...

The Blair Julie Project

What else could I do?!? The fight was over and the guys were in the penalty boxes.

The human body was NOT made to bend this way...

#82, forward Jared Dumba, doing some bizarre warm-up-pregame-skate-stretching ritual.

Money definitely well spent...

This was taken during the Military Appreciation Day game. The guys wore these great camouflage jerseys which were auctioned off after the game. Extras were made and sold at the souvenir tables. They were sold out before the first period ended. The visible faces are #26 defenseman Joe Dustin (one of the few true Americans on the team), and #39 goaltender Sebastian Centomo (recalled up to Manitoba, but will return during the Olympic break).

Guess who's coming for dinner...

One of the perks of being a booster club member. At the Christmas dinner we sat with #5, defenseman Shawn Germain. Booster members could 'adopt' players and buy them sensible gifts...although I have yet to figure out what makes a John Deere hat sensible.

Proof that my camera works outside the Ford Center...

This was taken at Myriad Gardens. I could use an entire memory card at this place.

"Hey! Let's play king of the mountain!"

...or...

"Three little turtles climbing on a rock. One fell off and tore his sock."

...or...

"Stupid humans; wasting all that turtle wax on their stupid cars."

More leaves...

I gaze intently at my prey

gathered peacefully and unknowing

at the water's edge.

I am patient and still.

I am as silent

as the impending death.

I am swift.

I am unseen.

I am the lioness.

You'll wish I hadn't posted this one...

Does anyone remember an old laxative commercial for Doxidan (sp)? I think it said, "as sure as the sun rises." Or in this case as the sun sets. I tried to warn you folks.

Right place at the right time...

...rather an appropriate title, don't you think? I helped a friend with the Indian taco booth at the arts festival last summer. During a break I was walking around taking pictures, and was fortunate enough to find this guy standing on a fence post shaking his groove thing. His mother must be proud.

Back-up goal tender Corey Wogtech.....former model for Abercrombie & Fitch.....what do you think of this Sammy?!?





#28 Garrett Prosofsky.....assistant captain...fence straddlers, don't ya love 'em?





I sneezed.....that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

And the earth did tremble...

Ladies, gentlemen, and whatever else, I have officially crossed the line from hick to redneck...possibly even to dare I say it white trash.

It all went down last Saturday. The night started with another great hockey game (my blood pressure is still elevated...my boys had me worried during the first two periods). Me and my group of yahoo-ligans went to the after party in Bricktown. Things were going great until #8 Marty Standish announced to the world "no autographs until I pee." Gee, thanks alot Marty...hope everything came out okay.

Anywho, the evening went down the crapper as we were leaving the restaurant. It must be one of Murphy's Laws that the sober person will be the one to make a complete jackass out of herself...and I did...as I went stumbling down the front steps of the Halftime Sports Grill. My face and ass are fortunately bruise and scrape free. Needless to say, however, that I have no more self esteem...especially since the entire Blazers roster were at the top of the steps saying "nice landing."

The team went to one of the clubs and I proceeded on to my car. At the corner near the club was a street musician. #35 Sean Connors asked the guy if he could play, and the guy let him. Oh my God! I wish I could turn back time...I wish I could learn to think before I speak...I started shouting "Freebird! Freebird!"

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was when time ceased and the earth began to tremble. Am I being terribly "un-Southern" by hating that damn song?!?

I've got 10 million stories to tell about the last blog-less days. But where to begin? Aye, there's the rub. Let's say that men are involved....French Canadian men to be exact....oh and beer guy is involved, too (nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more).

On the home front I've finally got new neighbors....that I'm already sick of. They were hanging pictures the other day.....at 2:00 in the flipping morning. When they quit banging (ooh, bad picture there, sorry) I loaded the washing machine and set it for the lllllooooonnnnnggggg cycle. You could hear them bitching through the walls. They've relatively quiet for the past few nights. They must have realized that I am a force to be reckoned with.

Almost time to log off. Stories to come soon.....maybe.....

Money well spent...

***This is not the reason I'm into hockey...but sometimes it does help.***

It's hard to get good action shots because of the delay on my digital camera...this is the best I've come up with. The red jersey is Filipic of the Colorado Eagles (I think). The white jersey is #10 Graham Dearle for the OKC Blazers.

Money well spent...

#15 Ryan Johnston

Money well spent...

#16 Mike Lukajic

Hey! Guess what music video I'm in!

I was driving home the other day and came upon this slight traffic tie-up. Everyone was just driving along, talking on their cell phones, dialing their cell phones, lighting cigars, spanking and yelling at their kids....I couldn't stand it anymore! I took out my digital camera and started taking pictures. And the idiots have the nerve to start honking and making gestures at me (damn redneck driving morons). Anywho I call this shot "Ode to Michael Stipe."

Top 5

Sammy tagged me. I'm surprised Michelle didn't catch me first. Anywho here are my current top five fave songs...

1. The Levee's Gonna Break by Led Zeppelin
2. Kashmir by Led Zeppelin
3. Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin
4. Awake by Godsmack
5. I Stand Alone by Godsmack



***Guess who's been in my CD player recently. HA!***

I'll tag Michelle, Cheryl, Brandon, and Jeff (if he ever decides to show his face around here).

Chantez-moi

Alright already! I apologize for my lack of creative juices. I've been busy taking care of some other important things: my job, cleaning my apartment (yeah, like that'll happen), and hockey (hell yeah). For lack of any better ideas, here's another combined chapter...

1. "Freak on a Leash" by Korn
2. "Sledgehammer" by Peter Gabriel
3. "Scream" by Michael and Janet Jackson
4. "Land of Confusion" by Genesis
5. "911 is a Joke" by Public Enemy
6. "Cows with Guns" internet song that made the rounds a few years ago.

One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just doesn't belong...HA! Remember when it was fun and actually educational to watch Sesame Street?!? Anywho, all of these songs really do have something in common -- I like them because they have great videos. In the case of #1, it's not my only reason for liking the song. This list could go on forever and ever, but these ones stick out at this point in time. And now for my favorite bits from the videos...

1. Gotta be the bullet...the pioneer of the Matrix trilogy.
2. Dude...it's all about the dancing chickens. This is the only video that could ever de-throne Thriller as all time best.
3. Yes, I did pick something Jackson related and not Thriller (because that's too obvious).
4. Puppets! They're everywhere! This must be where Weezer got the muppet idea.
5. Old school rap...I love it...especially the guy laying in the gutter having convulsions (if you ever see it, you'll understand).
6. Somebody somewhere took a Dr. Demento worthy song and made an anime feature for it. Do a 'google' and maybe you'll find it.

Don't ya wish that MTV, VH1, and all their spin-off channels still showed videos? Hey, here's a deep thought for Jack Handy...if video killed the radio star, then who or what killed the video? Come on out you kings and queens of conspiracy theory....this one is right up your alley!

P.S. -- Earth to Jeff....this is ground control to Major Jeff....please respond!

WTF?!?!?!?

Woo-hoo! I'm officially 30 and my team won last night!

In other news...I get this message from Amazon.com saying that they're going to cancel my order if I don't send payment. Okay, I thought the whole point behind a pre-order was to lay down my money early (August 29) and get my item when released (November 1). WTF?!?!? Hold while I go call my bank and confirm the payment has cleared....

Still in other news...I'm still excited about the next Harry Potter movie, but now I've find out that "Walk the Line" comes out the same night, and I'm really worked up for it. So which one do I really want to see that night? Thank God for hockey...

I see that Jeremy and Zane are here. I'll post again tomorrow....It's play time...

Insert title here.....

OMG! I am so bloody tired from this weekend. Four hockey games in four days...and that was just the preseason! Only four more days until the puck officially drops for the 05-06 season.

Only 15 more days until Amazon.com sends me my pre-ordered copy of Episode III.

Only 12 more days until I can stop saying "I'm pushing 30."

And in other news, Christine has disappeared and has been replaced with the Batmobile. I swear to you I'm not making this up. I get the feeling that one of these days I'm going to wake up and run into Speed Racer and Racer X (his brother, you know) standing next to the Mach 3 (or whatever number it was).

I finally took my memory card to Wally-World and printed off some stuff and got a CD made of all the pictures I've taken since June (I love procrastinating...I also love being cheap...I waited long enough that the price dropped to 19 cents per picture). Enjoy the eye candy.

Happy Early Halloween

Darkness Falls Across The Land
The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand
Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood
To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood
And Whosoever Shall Be Found
Without The Soul For Getting Down
Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell
And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell
The Foulest Stench Is In The Air
The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years
And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb
Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom
And Though You Fight To Stay Alive
Your Body Starts To Shiver
For No Mere Mortal Can Resist
The Evil Of The Thriller

(spoken by Vincent Price, taken from Thriller)

05-06 training camp

Face off -- with the delay on my digital camera, this is the best time for pics.

Sebastien Centomo looking for the puck.
Shawn Germain, #5, Defenseman, ready for the puck drop.
Sean Connors, #35, Goaltender, another picture I don't have an explanation for, but perhaps that's the beauty of it.

Booster club picnic

Kevin Kuklinski(sp) Invited to training camp, but didn't make the final cut, good luck to ya!
Sebastien Centomo, #1, Goaltender, he's a got a quick glove and brief NHL experience, welcome to OKC
Michel Beausoleil, #9, Left wing, AKA Bobo or Mike, has a great slapshot, I think he looks like Sully of Godsmack

Marty Standish, #3, Center, returns after being gone a year, the one my nieces Samantha and Michelle are going to arm wrestle for

More from the picnic

Jared Dumba, #82, Left Wing, back with the Blazers after a two season hiatus
Jason Goulet, #33, Defenseman, complete coincidence that he was looking directly at me when this picture was taken
Garrett Prosofsky, #28, Center, damn I love those eyebrows

Ryan Power, #16, Forward, returning player from last season

Tyler Kuntz, #15, Defenseman, another nice set of eyebrows

4th of July weekend at Texoma....
....so peaceful....
....so tranquil....
....I hope Julia left her camera at home....

Getting tired of looking at semi-insane pictures yet? Too, bad if you are 'cause I'm just getting started!

Reason #1974 for not getting bored. I don't know what the other 1973 are, and I don't intend on finding out.

***Of note, this plant has been alive for a little over two years. It's the new record!***

Here's my niece Jo Caryn's cat....or maybe it's Cayla's cat....I'm not sure....anywho the idiot piece of fur was halfway on/off the couch, just purring away, perfectly content. I am reminded of this book that Jeremy and Joe used to have called "101 Uses for a Dead Cat." I liked the hot water bottle -- LMAO!

Same sunset, same direction, different colors (totally cool), and this stupid little sailboat that was going unbelievably slow! I was yelling at him to speed up before the sun got too low.

Here's another pic from Lake Hefner. It's looking toward the west (duh) from the flagpole plaza. It was awe-inspiring how everything kept getting swallowed up by purples and reds.

"You talkin' to me?"

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the hissing goose. I was at Lake Hefner with my friend Brandon. We felt the need to go on a picture taking frenzy. These geese were all over the place and would follow people around....it was very eerie in the true Hitchcock sense of the word. There was this little boy, he couldn't have been much older than Zane, and he kept trying to force feed the geese. His mother kept saying, "It's okay. Go ahead and give it the bread." This one started hissing and I told her to grab the kid and run.

Misunderstood lyrics

I was listening to my current favorite Pink Floyd song "Time" when I came across the following:

..."warm my buns beside the fire"...

Please, somebody tell me that I heard that wrong!


In other news the official start of the CHL season is only 7 days away.....HELL YEAH! I went to the 1st exhibition game last night. I think I managed to fit an entire season's worth of yelling into one game (one period to be truthful). The ref for the night was Tom Sterns....one of the league's worst refs....at least he's the worst if you're a fan watching the game he's attempting to officiate. Needless to say that Tommy boy got a royal earful from me.

I haven't picked a fave player yet. I'm waiting until the roster is finalized. Although I must say that I like goalie butts and I cannot lie. You other sisters can't deny. When he skates on the ice, lookin' real nice....insert appropriate fantasy here....HA!

So has anyone seen Jeff lately?!? I told him to stop by and take a look around, I guess he hasn't made it yet. I'll have to get medieval with him....or just start calling him P.S. again....whatever....

My heroes have always been...

...cowboys, and long-horns, and Marines, and long-horns, and pianists, and long-horns, the lady who does my nails every two weeks, did I mention long-horns yet?!?

I'm here at the downtown library, AKA my second home. I had to bribe a guy to let me have the computer when he got done e-mailing. It's that crazy down here today. Every second Sunday the library has a piano series. Today a gentleman played a little bit of everything -- Schubert, Bach, Mozart -- but best of all this guy played Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata -- ALL THREE MOVEMENTS -- I was in heaven. It was wonderful to hear my absolute favorite song in the entire world being played...and played well. This lady come up to me after the performance and asked me why I was so excited when he announced that the whole sonata was going to be played. And I told her, "I've been waiting a long time to hear this sonata played in its entirety." Hold on a second there folks...it gets better...this same lady introduced me to the pianist...and then she took a picture of us. She's going to e-mail the pic sometime this next week. I'll try to post it....maybe.

In other news I've finally decided what I want to do for the big 3-0. I'm going to have a manicure, pedicure, and fill. Hey, I realize that I'm spending the money here, but the lady offered to hold my check until the following payday and that I should be pampered...whether it's my birthday or not. Damn that is so nice to hear!

And still in other news: 1 more day until Blazers training camp starts.
4 more days until the 1st Blazers exhibition game
12 more days until the CHL season officially starts
0 days until I say "God bless them Long-horns!"

The countdowns...

...10 days until preseason hockey...

...18 days until the official hockey season...

...26 days until my 30th birthday...

...3 days until I get my (@*#&$#*(@ flu shot...

...0 days until I start praying that a certain team from Texas wins a certain football game this weekend...

New countdowns

...11 days until preseason hockey starts...

...19 days until the official hockey season starts...

...27 days until the official 30th birthday...

...6 days until I dye my hair purple again (actually it's burgundy, but it may as well be purple)...

...7 days until I tour the locker rooms at the Ford Center (hell yeah)...

...1,832,674,569,201,003,847,673,729,834,657,838 total brain cells used in thinking up blog titles (LMAO)...

November 18th

I have marked this date on all five of my calendars. It's the release date for the 4th Harry Potter movie. I just got done watching the new theatrical trailer....OMG it's gonna be great...it'll be even greater if there's not a hockey game that night...anywho I went to imdb.com to read the full cast list. John Williams, unfortunately, did not compose the entire score. He does get credit for having composed the original Harry Potter theme. (Kudos for the film makers, that means I'll buy a ticket). I'm too upset about this...it means I have one less CD soundtrack to buy.

I've got several ideas for forthcoming Chantez-moi chapters...stay tuned....

OMG!!!

And I thought Christine's parking spot beneath my bedroom window was creepy...the other day on my way to work I was passed by a semi truck hauling caskets....for a company named BATES. (insert creepy high pitched screeching music and melon stabbing sounds here).

And in other news -- welcome to the Hornets and thank you for not completely evicting the Blazers for the 05-06 season.

He's out to get me...

...oh how I wish that I were referring to a French Canadian man in a bulky uniform...but alas, I'm not...on with the story...

I happen to know a guy who is a dead ringer for Stephen King. Most of my usual blog readers will know to whom I am referring. He used to manage the Sonic in Guthrie. On two-fer night Tuesday 'the mother' and I would go for burgers and it never failed....he would be the one to take the order. "Welcome to Sonic may I take your order?" "Yeah, don't kill me." (as a side note...never, never, never, never, and I do mean never go to the Guthrie Sonic. You'll probably die of food poisoning due to change in management -- ain't that a riot?) Anywho things have seemed to come full circle. I've finally reached a point of happiness in my life....great apartment, great job, great seats for a certain sporting event....when all of a sudden, last week I started sleeping with my closet light on. Now I consider myself to be a heavy sleeper, despite the tossing and turning, and have been told that I snore and/or sing in my sleep. So what has happened to bring about this sudden change in lifestyle?? Well honey let me tell ya...Christine is parked directly under my bedroom window. I ain't lying. One of my new neighbors drives a 1966 Plymouth Fury. When I leave for work in the morning I swear to God it's always staring at me. It'll probably follow me around town one of these days. (conspiracy theorists and taunters of younger sisters please provide your comments now).

One final thing before leaving....how do I post a blog roll on my main page? Michelle?!?! Yoo-hoo Michelle I think I need your help on this one!

Birthday

So I talked to 'the mother' the other day. Actually my calls to her have increased over the past few weeks. She seems to think I'm making a rather big deal about my birthday. DUH! It's my 30th birthday for crying out loud! In my opinion she isn't making a big enough deal about it. I mean her youngest child is turning 30 this year. When I found out that my hockey team is out of town on October 29 I began making plans to go see them play.....in Odessa, Texas. I told my mom about it and she said if I found a more reasonable alternative then we would do it. So on October 21 the Blazers play in Wichita (oh hell yeah, I remember the last time they played there)...anywho I suggested that idea and 'the mother' black-balled it immediately. So I called her on Saturday night with my final idea (third time's a charm, right?) well it wasn't. I've been wanting to go back and eat at Old Germany Restaurant in Choctaw. I've been wanting to go back for 6 or 7 years. Obviously that isn't a good idea either. So I unloaded on her....my 16th birthday sucked, my 18th birthday sucked, my 21st birthday sucked (don't even get me started), my 25th birthday sucked (it was a big deal to turn 25 in the year 2000). Then she said, "it sounds like you've led a rather sucky life." SHE SAID IT, NOT ME. This lady at work said "screw 30 and celebrate 40." Whatever, thanks for the advice....

Have you all heard the Bud Light "Real American Heroes" and "Real Men of Genius" commercials? I heard one this morning that was "today we salute you Mr. Ceremonial 1st Pitch Thrower Outer." Now everyone knows that the highlight of these commercials is the dude singing in the background. So Mr. Announcer is talking about walking to the mound, throwing the pitch, and all of a sudden Mr. Singer Dude says "Oww, you hit me in the groin." Definitely the best one I've heard in awhile. But my fave has got to be "Mr. Toilet Paper Roll Refiller---you do your business so we can do ours."

And last but not least a deep thought by Jack Handy......When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was and why he had deer horns.

Chantez-moi

"Boulevard of Broken Dreams"
jdh 9/2/05

My love for this song does not convey similar feelings for the band...especially after Jeremy told me about the anti-Bush propaganda on Green Day's current album. For me this is mainly one of those songs that I turn up the volume and sing as loud as I can. I don't like the re-mix though. I like Oasis but not when mixed with Green Day. I visited Quizilla the other day and according to them, this is my theme song...I'm not quite sure what to think of that yet. My fave lyric in the song is "my shadow's the only one to walk beside me"...if for no other reason than it's poetic flavor really jumps out at me.

My other purpose for this chapter relates to the poster...we all know the one...cafe on the corner...Marilyn, Elvis, Bogey, James Dean..but did you know that this almost truly perfect and classical moment in pop-art has modernized...no what's a better word...upgraded...how about DESTROYED! Cheryl and I were at Bed Bath & Beyond cruising the posters and found the new cafe poster. Same title but different figures. The patrons are now Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison (I think) and in through the door walks Kurt Cobain. WTF?!?! Okay, here's what's wrong with the updated version: 1) they shouldn't have been screwing around with the original in the first place. I mean, why mess with a good thing? 2) Who in their right (or in this case wrong) mind would include Cobain with the likes of Joplin, Hendrix, and Morrison. I will concede the fact that yes, Cobain was talented in his own rite.....but not in the same realm as the other three. I mean, could Nirvana have produced the grandeur of "Purple Haze," "Take Another Little Piece of My Heart," and dare I say it "Riders on the Storm?" Honestly, why honor the man who came out of a drug induced coma and then put a bullet through his brain.

I do get the point behind the updated cafe scene....these were great musicians that all died of drug/alcohol overdoses. But still.....can I get a cry of McBarf from the congregation? Why isn't Cass Eliot on there....not a drug related death but still a great talent who died too young....and what about John Belushi? And if someone as undeserving and current as Kurt Cobain is on there, then let's also add River Phoenix and all the guitarists that the Chili Peppers went through.

And mom always said I was scatterbrained...

I got this from Margi's blog...the results were surprising...I always thought I was half-and-half...

You Are 25% Left Brained, 75% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are'>http://www.blogthings.com/rightorleftbrainedquiz/">Are You Right or Left Brained?

And mom always said I was scatterbrained...

I got this idea from Margi's blog...the results were surprising...I always thought I was half-and-half...

You Are 25% Left Brained, 75% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

Again I ask, why do I need a title?

Those that know me best acknowledge the fact that I am an extremely impatient person. Those that know me best will all acknowledge my frustration intended by this next sentence -- THIS WAITING THING IS KILLING ME!!! October 21, 2005 can't get here fast enough. That's two whole months left of waiting. OH THE AGONY. They've already started pre-season football and crap like that, so why can't they have some pre-season hockey? I'm dying here!

I had to get that off my chest. Thanks for bearing with me on this. I suppose I'll have to do a countdown like I did for Episode III (may the force and the puck be with us).

And now to catch everyone up on things. I left Bone & Joint Hospital and have started with a company called Phy-Con. I've been there a week and I absolutely love it! It's a very nurturing environment yet completely psychotic environment (in the very best sense of the word). I'm going to like it there.

On Thursday the 18th I made a visit to 23rd Street Body Piercing in OKC. I spent alot of time with a totally gorgeous guy named Mike (oh the green eyes were faboo). And I left the place with an extra bit of jewelry in my nose. I had my left nostril done. I'm still trying to get used to the constant booger sensation I've got. It's just been a few days and they said that was to be expected.

I'm at the library right now and I've just received a message that my time is almost up. I hate to cut this short, but I'll add more tomorrow...

OMG!!!

We're all going to hell in a handbasket!

This time the basket is being carried by Dusty Dvoracek and Todd Bertruzzi. Here's why: that place that has the audacity to call themselves the university of Oklahoma has never followed the rules, has never followed through on a punishment, they a lot of good talk but fail to walk the walk. How else would that idiot Dvoracek have gotten reinstated to the football team? Oh, I suppose I need to mention that he did apply for medical hardship with the NCAA (whatever). I swear the only good thing to come out of that school was my cousin Angie (hooray! How are you, Mike, and Tabitha?).

And don't even get me started on the Bertruzzi incident. He was supposedly slapped with a lifetime ban from the NHL. However, according to yesterday's e-mail newspaper he was reinstated. HOLY SHIT PEOPLE! The vicious pig bastard took a cheap shot on another player which broke his neck and the another is (un)officially a quadriplegic now. Now hockey is my sport and the occasional cheap shot is practically mandatory when you're on the defensive/offensive/face-off/whatever. But this particular incident went a bit too far. The reasoning behind this was that his year suspension was over. WTF?!? Need I remind you that there wasn't a season last year (thanks again to vicious pig bastards). I feel that Bertruzzi's punishment should be carried over and apply to this season of actual gameplay.

That's just the way I feel about things, crap, whatever. I shall now get back to work, or shall now start to work, whatever. Only three more days babe...

OMG!!!

'Ello me bloggers. I've spent the better part of a week wondering about how far it is from OKC to Midland/Odessa. It has now become apparent that my travel plans should shift to the north, and should probably include my sister Cheryl and brother-in-law David. But enough about that...

Good news! I'm getting out of the hell hole that is Bone and Joint Hospital. I've gotten the job with PhyCon and I start the 15th. HOORAY!!! No more bitching and griping, no more stress induced rash on the nape of my neck, no more insomnia, no more leaving work angry and crying, and no more condescending co-workers and passive-aggressive bosses and selfish pig bastards in upper managerial positions who don't give their employees the time of day but don't hesitate to piss on them all and run for safety. The count down is on...only seven more days until freedom!

I must be off...I've got a date with Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix...Chantez-moi as soon as I get inspired...

OMG!!!

Okay these buttons have the alphabet on them, this button changes my font color. Oh and this button says OMG!!! Sorry it's been so long...

I went to my first arena football game last night. I couldn't get into it, but at least I tried something new. I should've stayed and home and finished reading Goblet of Fire (currently on page 360-ish of 730+). Anywho here's what I found wrong with the whole sporting event:

1) The team's co-owner is Barry Switzer.
2) I couldn't understand anything that was said. Whatever they layed on the floor really screwed up the acoustics.
3) I don't know who all was there for the hockey ticket holders, we had to have been all scattered about. We should have been seated in the same section and at the front (because even though I hate football, I wanted to catch a ball or a player or whatever).
4) Maybe I should have mentioned this first -- when I first walked in there was a huge lump of fabric laying in the north end zone. As the kick off approached about 40 guys lead by some old Navy dude (no pun intended) started to untangle the mess --- WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE THE AMERICAN FLAG!!!!! During the National Anthem they had some kids running along underneath it to keep it from touching the ground, but as they were rolling it back up a couple of end guys were kind of slacking off and getting their side dirty. Well hells bells guys let me run out to the car and get my spare bottle of kerosene and book of matches so I can help you guys along. And since I'm on my patriotic soap box yet again, I thought you were to remain standing until the flag exited the area. OMG!!! I thought we were all going to hell in a hand basket, but I do believe we are already there.

Don't tell her I said this, but I think that perhaps my mom did raise me right...at least as far as flag etiquette is concerned.

Baby's got whiplash and Jack Daniels made breakfast

OMG! The people at Buncomb Creek are nucking futs! So needless to say I fit right in, or they fit right in with me, either way it was almost scary. Nobody wears a hair net, but I sat and ate my hamburger anyway. Everybody rides around in golf carts now. It's a good thing I wasn't driving although I have to say backseat road rage is pretty bad, too. I got to meet the infamous Diana and her infamous relations. I have a feeling my aching stomach muscles will be around for another week. The food was all good, especially that brisket I helped to make. I went to a party on Sunday night and had to dodge fireworks all night (just kidding). I was sitting near where the guys were lighting them and setting them off. It was so cool. They were going off for nearly an hour before some buttface lawyer started complaining about the ashes and crap landing in his yard and on his house. Well tough tittle honey you're outnumbered by a few thousand lake-goers. I think at this point "The Angry American" started playing on the radio, how appropriate. The live band was great. They were really getting into the swing of things. I asked Cheryl how long before David starts yelling "Freebird!" I don't think he did. The band played my personal favorite Tom Petty song "Running Down a Dream." I did my horns, stood up, and yelled. This guy sitting behind me saw fit to remind me that I was still in Oklahoma and I was surrounded by Sooners. Who gives a crap?!? I was there to have fun....and I did.

We left a day early because we were all suffering from "Corbin-fever." Corbin Isaiah was born on July 1 and I got to see him on the 4th. He's all cute and wrinkly and perfect. I had him held kind of funny with his arm pinned against me. I was so concerned about his arm that I forgot to support his neck and when I handed him back to Jeremy, he went floppy. Needless to say Aunt Julie is going to let Corbin have plenty of recovery time before she goes to see him again.

I should probably try and get some work done. My idiot co-workers are concerned about me because I'm not happy to be back at work. Why the hell should I be?

Musical Tag

Thanks alot Michelle (she types sarcastically)

Total volume of music on my computer: zero.

Last CD I bought: the soundtrack for Star Wars Episode III.

Last CD I acquired: a Michael Buble sampler. The Magic Man from KMGL gave it to me when I still worked at the box office.

Five songs that I listen to alot, or that mean alot to me:
1. Devotion by Newsboys. This is my current favorite praise and worship song.

2. Wild Women by The Big Three. I LOVE THIS SONG! It's soulful, sexy, and is proof to any man that us BBW's in the world are too.

3. Buddies Again by Emily Boyett and Julia Ham. Yes, you read that correctly. Emily was one of my best friends in grade school. We thought it was pretty neat that our dad's were both named Charles. It never failed that on the first day of school you would find us climbing on the jungle gym and making up verses to "our song." When we graduated in 1994 she signed my senior yearbook "remember when we were buddies again?"

4. Bye, Bye, Bye by N'Sync. Let's just call this one of those little guilty pleasures, shall we?!?

5. This Means War by Petra. The first song on the first CD I ever had. My brother gave it to me back in his basic training years (mid to late 80's I do believe). I still have it. I still play it. The case is broken, but the disc doesn't have any scratches.

...and since Michelle did six...

6. America by Neil Diamond. Not a patriotric song by any means, but still powerful. The one and only time I ever listened to that radio freak Delilah, a Russian man had called in and wanted to hear a song that explained how he felt about our country, and this is what she picked. Then on the morning of September 11, 2001, after the planes hit the World Trade Center, KOMA DJ Danny Williams played this song......powerful.

Chantez-moi

Today's chapter is a double dose of musical bliss. Thanks yet again to my sister Cheryl for giving me this idea (if I ever publish this on paper, I'm dedicating the book to you). The other night at Del Rancho she and I were talking about the forthcoming Pavarotti concert in Tulsa. Cheap seats for $125 and I had the money to go. I even had the $40 for tickets.com service charges. However, I am not going to the concert. I spent the money on something else (Plexiglas kicks ass!!) I made the comment that since I'm not going to Pavarotti, I should just try and make it to Dallas and see Eminem for some 'anger management.' Cheryl started laughing and said that I had gone from one extreme to the other. So without further adieu, here's today's most eclectic chapter:

"Nessun Dorma"
Pavarotti's signature song...from the opera 'Turandot.' I get goosebumps every time I hear this song. I have a CD of the original three tenors concert and talk about a bawl-fest extraordinaire. The final encore is this song sung by all three. Oh my! When they hit that note (you know the one) I go running for Kleenex, and then I hit rewind and listen again.

"Lose Yourself"
I mentioned "Bohemian Rhapsody" being biographical for Freddie Mercury. I consider this song the same for Eminem...and I mean in real life, not just in "8 Mile." I saw the movie in Edmond with a bunch of spoiled rich kids who didn't have a clue. Hell, they still don't have a clue and I'm still standing on the brink fighting for my chance to cross the mile...

Chantez-moi

"I Stand Alone"

Don't get mad Cheryl - I'm doing another Godsmack song.

Long story short -- I have abandonment issues. It's most likely related to being the youngest of five by 8 1/2 years. Now it's compounded by the fact that my closest coworkers have quit and gone on to better jobs. I don't feel stuck in a rut because I know that my turn is coming soon. I feel left behind and hung out to dry (holy crap how many more stupid cliches can I put on this blog anyway). So now I, like the Scorpion King and Sully Erna (gorgeous for a Wiccan), am left standing alone, sort of like the statue of liberty. Only I want to know whom I'm holding a torch to light the way for.

Dear, oh dear, oh dear...

What kind of world are we living in when Judas and Herod get longer and louder applause than the King of Kings?!? Herod's 'back up group' were dancing around like 20's flappers, very cute. I had seen "Jesus Christ Superstar" before, but this was a much better stage production.

Short and sweet and time for bed. Stay tuned for the next installment of Chantez-moi...

Tag, I'm it!

Okay Michelle and Kool-aid. Here are my childhood memories that I really miss the most:

**Playing in mud puddles with Jeremy and Joe. After a good rain my old driveway was a virtual swamp and the three of us would play for hours. Then we got hosed off and were let back inside the house.
**Playing in the snow with my mom's dogs Daisy and Lucy. Oh my gosh have you ever seen a fat wiener dog try to leap over a mound of snow?
**Daisy and Lucy being at the bus stop. It never failed they were there with me in the morning, and they would be sitting there at 3:30 in the afternoon when I got off the bus. And when it snowed, Daddy would come and we'd sit in the truck, but Daisy would still be sitting there at the front axle keeping watch.
**Daddy coming to get me at 5:00 in the morning to go eat donuts -- because apparently fresh donuts aren't good enough. They have to be the fresh donuts from the first batch of the day, at the exact moment they are taken out of the oven. I'd always get two blueberry donuts and a Dr. Pepper.
**Halloween costumes. I know that as adults we can still get away with dressing up and going to Halloween parties, but dressing up as a kid and going out for trick-or-treats was special. It was before the religious people in the community started saying that it was the devil's holiday and before all the psychos were putting poison and razor blades in candied apples and tootsie rolls.

Oh! Can I do six things instead of only five? I forgot about this: CABOOSES! I remember when trains still had cabooses and brake-men who would always wave. That was one of the best things about visiting Seward as a kid. When the railroad crossing warning went off, me and the cousins would go stand in the middle of the road and watch as the train went by.

I don't have a blogroll set up yet, so I'll just refer you back to michellecanning.blogspot.com. You might also want to visit Jessica at maraposa-something-or-other.

Chantez-moi

"Bohemian Rhapsody"

I'm ashamed to admit that the first time I heard this song was either in the context of "Wayne's World" or during the tribute concert for Freddie Mercury. What first appealed to me was the piano throughout the song...absolutely love it...still looking for the sheet music. And then one night I woke up with an epiphany (apostrophe for those fans of 'Hook'). I realized just how autobiographical the second verse is. Did Mercury know the events he was foreshadowing when these lyrics were written? Although "Bohemian" is not my favorite Queen song, I can definitely appreciate it more.

6/14/05 jdh

The List

What's up with lists? David Letterman has them. Amazon.com has a top 25 list for every movie genre possible. There's Top 40, The New York Bestsellers, etc, etc. So here is my list:

Top Ten Songs That Need To Be Sung by Eric Cartman

10. The overplayed 'lift me up song' by Josh Groban.
9. Don't Worry, Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin
8. Nothing Compares to You by Sinead O'Connor
7. Stayin' Alive by the BeeGees
6. Piece of My Heart by Janis Joplin
5. Poison by Alice Cooper
4. Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard
3. Rocky Raccoon by the Beatles (almost sacrilege but had to include a song by the Fab Four).
2. Janie's Got a Gun by Aerosmith (Ha - respect my authority!)

And the #1 song that needs to be sung by Cartman....
Beautiful by Christina Aguilera

Gotta love Cartman (except when he's killing Kenny or the Jews of South Park).

Chantez-moi

"Whatever"

I've been listening to Godsmack alot lately. It's usually what's in the CD player when I'm angry (as opposed to something calm and soothing). My favorite lyric from this song is in the first verse: 'I don't need your shit today. You're pathetic in your own way.' Of note, be sure to turn the volume down when at a red light surrounded by homeless people...or at least roll up the window. When I saw the band in concert, this was the second or third song of their set. Totally awesome. Everything was wireless and they moved about the stage. No stage diving or crowd surfing or anything remotely cool; but just a huge pulsating mob. And those of us getting high from the second hand pot smoking were having an exceptionally great time. I quickly learned the words and was screaming 'better fucking go away' with the rest of them.

jdh 6/5/05

OMG!!!

OH MY GOD! My oldest nephew turns 26 today! Can anyone else hear the grey hairs popping up all over the place?!?!?

OMG!!!

We're all going to hell in a hand basket. And the new "Bilingual Elmo" is carrying that basket. And the two languages it speaks are English and Spanish. WTF is wrong with this picture? It seems that good old Wally-World is keen on catering to the multilingual communities and if indeed that be the case then why aren't they catering to me? While my totaly comprehension of foreign languages is limited, I do enough to function in society (and to make an ass of myself). Anyway I can speak French, German, pig latin (yes it counts), some sign language (more than just the finger), and I know one word in Czech. So that makes 6 counting English. Holy crap I have this wretched feeling that the next Bilingual Elmo to hit the market will speak ebonics and ghetto. It seems that I keep getting on this soapbox. Perhaps I should just stay up here. There's plenty of room for more. Keep a look out on E-bay. There may be a Tickle-Me-Elmo and Singing-Alphabet-Elmo on there soon. Hell I don't need them anymore. Just looking at them makes me furious. 'Til next time...

OMG!!!

When I read the headline about an Oscar winning director being arrested, I immediately thought of Roman Polanski. But sure he wouldn't be stupid enough to come back stateside and get tackled by the police, or FBI, or whomever (hasn't the statute of limitations run out on that charge yet?!?). And then I find out the man arrested was Oliver Stone. WTF were you thinking there Ollie?!?

And here's the other OMG moment -- I got up and sang for karaoke. The place I was at had a huge mirror and a looked at it and said "Holy shit what I am I doing here?" At this point I would like to let you know that I did not say that out loud. Anywho I did two songs. The first one completely sucked ass. I was so nervous. The other song actually got a cat-call. It was faint but I still heard it. Oh well I just had to let y'all know. If I get motivated I'll go write another installment of Chantez-Moi. But now I'm off to bed...

Confession

Okay, okay. I will confess that I did cry during Episode III. I ain't ashamed to admit it. It was probably silly (at least the guys in the theatre thought it was -- I was the only gal there). I realize that everyone and their dogs knew what Anakin's fate was and could imagine how it happened, but to finally see it and hear it, that's when I lost it. Hearing Darth Vader breathe for what technically was the first time, I started bawling.

Anywho, it was worth the three year wait, and it was worth the $7 I spent on the ticket. This is officially the last time I will pay full price for a movie. I mean it this time. Unless of course Monty Python and the Holy Grail makes another round through the theatres. NEE!

Chantez-Moi

"Minimum Wage"

I will debate any and everyone on this song. It is beyond a doubt They Might Be Giants best work. (many apologies to you oh might Particle Man. You're good, too, but let's face it. This is better). Seriously! Who else could take two words, a whip, a drum, and a keyboard and make it into something completely and insanely hilarious?!? This is a great song to play in the car. So pump up the volume, roll down the windows, sing at the top of your lungs (off key or whatever) and make sure you're in some pansy-ass swanky neighborhood -- I recommend Oak Tree.

5/24/05 jdh

Countdown almost over

Six hours til show time. I'm still at work (ugh). Can I use the force to speed up time? I mean if I can look into the future, why can't I also teleport into the future? Is it really that a big of a deal to disrupt the space/time continuum?!? Anywho, may the force be with you all...and I promise to blog a new edition of 'Chantez-Moi' this weekend.

I hate computers...

I just tried to download 'hello.' Apparently I don't have the right processor on my computer to be able to use it and publish pics on my blog. Damn computers. Anywho, I'm off to write more for my literary project. Five more days -- hell yeah!!

The countdown continues...

...Six more days until Episode III...

...May the force be with us...

The countdown continues...

...14 days until Episode III...

...may the force be with us...

It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world!

And it's crazy, too! Especially in Norman at the baseball stadium. Some friends of mine asked me to go to the game on Thursday but I had to turn them down. Now I wish I hadn't. It would've been nice to be sitting there when Coach Cochell (sp??) did his interview with ESPN. I did go with my friends to the game on Friday night. What a riot. Every news station possible had a crew there. It made the students mad because all the seats behind the dugout were taken.

On the newsok.com website they were posting some letters to the editor. One guy wrote in that Cochell should also apologize to all the white people for saying the word "honky." And now it's Monday and I just found out that coach has submitted his resignation. You think that'll make people happy now?

Incidentally I have NOT become an OU fan. These are my hockey pals and they just invited me to a baseball game (gotta do something during the off-season). The Sooners lost 8-0 on Friday night. Now if I could only see that happen to the football team.....

Literary project

"Chantez-moi" by Julia Dianne Ham

'Mama, I'm Coming Home'

I used to think "Oh crap! I'm listening to Ozzy!" Nowadays my thoughts linger on things more sacred. I have a list of non-religious songs to re-write with Christian themes. I don't have a final draft for this one yet, but the idea goes like this:

A man misses the rapture. At the beginning of the tribulation he just blames himself for being so ignorant. Finally he submits himself to God's purpose and finds himself running to the throne of Heaven shouting "Abba! Father! I'm finally home!"

4/21/05

The countdown continues...

...19 days until Episode III...

...may the force be with us...

The countdown continues...

...23 days until Episode III...

...may the force be with us...

The new literary project is unveiled!

"Chantez-moi" by Julia Dianne Ham

'Moonlight Sonata'

When you ask me to sing my favorite song, I shall tell you that I can't, because my favorite song has no words. Several years ago at a friends of the library book sale, my mom and I were digging through some records. I found a set of Beethoven records and at the time I was in love with his fifth symphony. So I begged mom to let me have the set. The first time I heard 'Moonlight' I knew I had to learn to play it. I memorized the 1st movement - yes memorize - I blame it all on four years of marching band. No matter what mood I'm in, I can hear it somewhere in the song. If you make my sister Cheryl mad, she can play the 1st and 2nd movements flawlessly. One of these days I plan to royally piss her off so she'll learn the 3rd movement, ha ha! I've had many dreams to this song. Sometimes it's water ripples, snow flurries, a funeral procession, or a thunderstorm. I've seen it all. (4/21/05)

The countdown is on...

...25 days until Episode III...

...may the force be with us...

The countdown is on...

...28 days until Episode III...

...may the force be with us...

My new pet peeve...

...is women going through menopause. Let me re-phrase that -- the women I work with who are going through menopause. Oh I know in due time it'll be me constantly bitching, griping, adjusting the thermostat 24/7 (hopefully in 20-30 years or so).

Okay I'm off the soapbox now. Due to a response to a previous post I am currently pondering a new writing project (sorry Jesse, no poems). I hope it turns out okay. Cheryl you had better like it, since it was pretty much your idea.

In other news I finally found a website with Eminem tickets. Sorry my dear Marshall but you ain't worth that kind of money.

Anywho, take a looksie at the new pics of Joe and Tristan at play if you haven't been to Michelle's blog. And if you have, then go look again!

It's later...

I'm sitting here at work, utterly miserable as usual. I'm trying to finish up my work, write this post, and plan my next trip to Dallas all at the same time. Honey, it ain't working.

I know it seems I always go to Dallas whenever I have the urge to go on a road trip; but this time it's mandatory that I go. The trip is tentatively scheduled for July 28 and will consist of the same old routine -- go to the Hard Rock, go to Dealey Plaza and write some more poetry, take more pics of the grassy knoll (it's a big concrete wall I hope you know), go to the Eminem and D12 concert, go over to Grapevine Mall, and let's not forget the obligatory tattoo. Oh wait, did I mention Eminem? I've been to every ticket agent on-line and they don't have anything available. My fear is that the show is already sold out (damn Texans).

Moving on -- After living in downtown OKC for almost 18 months, I finally went down to the library and got my card (hooray). The new library is huge. I was in there approx. 90 minutes and the lady at the check out said "did you make it upstairs?" Whoa, I didn't know there was an upstairs. I was just cruising through the fantasy/sci-fi looking for Tolkien supplements and then made my way over to the videos. Upstairs -- holy cow. I guess the library will be my new Saturday routine. Anywho I found a couple of older movies that I've been dying to see. I borrowed Catch 22 (I'm in love with Yossarian) and Fahrenheit 451 (Mr. Bradbury - why didn't you sue that bastard Michael Moore).

Super condensed version - the character Montag flees the city and finds the refuge of 'the book people.' They've formed this commune in the middle of the forest and everyone introduces themselves as a book they've memorized (I like how the movie goes into a little more description with this than the book did). So I've spent the last week trying to figure out which book I am. Some of my fave books are Gone with the Wind, Piercing the Darkness, Pride and Prejudice, Fahrenheit 451, Catcher in the Rye. But then I remembered that the people are the book that they memorized. So here's my introduction "Hello, I'm One Fish, Two Fish." Oh Lord how depressing. To think of all the reading that I've ever done, I have the most words memorized from a Dr. Seuss book. Hey! There's good motivation for more daily reading of my Bible. Then I can say "Hello, I'm Proverbs chapter 31."

Not much else is going on. Here's the non-Jerry-Springer final thought:

"If you love your freedoms, thank a veteran." Donald, many thanks. Joe, special thanks and glad you're home safe with your little one. And Daddy, I've thanked you before but am most glad to say so again. So aim high, semper fi, and be all you can be. Love you...

Hello - Hello ---HOLA!

Here is a quick quote from the song of the day:

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than have to have a frontal lobotomy. I might be drunk but at least I'm not insane."

That sums up my life since my last blog. It's not down the crapper or anything - it's kind of just sitting there, stagnating, with really obnoxious fumes rising up out it. (Can you tell my English comp professor liked my writing style?).

Oops, here comes the boss. I'll be back later.

Brother dear I hope you're not reading this...

...because it's about to get ugly.

My hockey team won tonight! Woo-hoo! So I snuck into work to do a quick blog. Everyone should know that giving the refs crap during any type of sporting event is just another part of the game. So that's what I did tonight with the CHL's official worst referee. I yelled my official, "Hey ref you are so full of shit!" (incidentally that's the only word I said all night). This lady in front of me turns around and tells me that I need to watch my mouth. (whatever). Of course in the very next period SHE is telling someone to go fuck themselves. But I got her back. One of the players was mouthing one of those phrases that everybody can read lips to. So I yelled at him "You'd better watch your mouth or the language police will be coming after you."

The last home game is tomorrow night against Memphis. (Hey Michelle & Tristan -- fly home I've got some free vouchers -- ha ha!) This lady better not try and say anything to me. If anyone hears any strange noises tomorrow night, it's the sound of someone's face being ripped off. I'd better get home now. I hear security coming down the hall...

Have I told you lately....

a) that I hate my job
b) that I love you
c) that I hate working on Sundays
d) that I love men in hockey uniforms
e) that I love Marines in their dress blues
f) that I totally love this stuff called blog
g) all of the above


*hint* the answer is all of the above. If you didn't know that, then log off immediately -- JOKE!

I just wanted to give everyone a job update - I had an interview on Friday. The only current opening the company had was radiology related, and I have no experience in coding that stuff. Despite that the interview did go well. I felt over-dressed though. I put on my nice black pants and a nice shirt. I walk in the building and it's jeans day. But that's okay, you're supposed to look nice for an interview, right?

Here's Cameron again. 

This is Cameron Breitkreuz. This is the reason I've been driving to Tulsa when the Blazers aren't playing at home. 

Bird's eye view of the Blazers bench. Damn I love buying tickets from scalpers!!! 

Where have I been?

I've been in a state of oblivion...it's kind of lonely here. I mean there are plenty of others here, too, but being oblivion they're...you know. Anywho....

So my hockey team has been out of town for the past couple of weekends. So fellow hockey nut Meredith and I have been driving to Tulsa to see our friend play for the Oilers. We've had fun going up there and cheering for the enemy. Actually Meredith cheers for our pal, and me being the person that I am, totally consumed by this sport, I just cheer and yell and scream. And even though it is Tulsa's ice, I feel it would be rude not to cheer for them (unless of course they're playing the Blazers).

Last Friday the Oilers played the Ft. Worth Brahmas and won in overtime (my boy got the game winning goal -- hell yeah!) Meredith and I went downstairs as usual to congratulate the team, coach, zamboni driver, etc. Security doesn't exactly monitor the locker area so as we were waiting for our friend to come out, we got to see a couple of Ft. Worth boys wearing nothing but towels and smiles (this definitely falls into the category of what mama don't know don't hurt her). I would have thought that couldn't be topped. But Saturday night was a riot. Oilers played the Wichita Thunder. The Oilers won, of course. With about 30 seconds left in the 3rd period, two guys just start beating the shit out of each other. They're taken off the ice but not escorted to their respective locker rooms. So they continue the fight. Which of course leads to a bench clearing brawl. Ahh, I could have died happy at that moment. The guys get back to their benches and the fans near the Wichita bench are laying into the coach. He starts attacking those nearest the glass, attempting to throw things, gesturing, etc. The last 30 seconds of play commence and all ends well, more or less. I happened to be sitting near the visiting team tunnel (bird's eye view of the Oiler bench - hell yeah!) and as the Wichita coach walks by I say "Hey Coach I know where your team gets their good sportsman like conduct from." He's standing with the team trainer and the trainer says, "Why don't you just kiss my ass?" My wonderful, lady-like reply, "Why don't you drop your pants and I will." They just picked their jaws off the floor and proceeded to the locker room. The moral of the story is this: If you're going to drop the gauntlet, be prepared for an ass-kicking. Because I'm going to pick up the gauntlet and beat you to a bloody pulp.

Now post game activities almost didn't happen. I met up with a Oiler girlfriend and we got downstairs for our congratulations, etc. I met up with my always appreciative hockey playing friend. He seemed quite gloomy...he said the coach didn't give him alot of shifts...but the amount of time he did play went well. He just rolled his eyes and said 'whatever.' What else can I say to encourage him? I've almost run out of things to say. I suppose a high-five, a pat on the back, or hug is always good...I mean they work for me.

I guess that gets us caught up for the moment. I'll try to post again later this week.

This one's for Cpl Joe...

...actually it's for me, but it's dedicated to Joe. I found this one last night and the 7th line had me puzzled. Of course I had it figured out at 3:00 this morning...that's when all my epiphanies happen (whatever). Anywho here goes...and PS to Michelle - you better be the first one to figure out the 7th line!!!

Finite and fickle
These words describe
Me well
I think of
Seven others
Just ask
Mr. Spacey
Now in this
Relatively humble
Mind setting
I can make
A covenant
With you
One that
Shall never
Be broken
Because we
Are a cord
Of four strands
The strongest of bonds
These words
Are sincere
The meaning
Is deep and true
I will not
Take them back
The devil can't
Make me don that
By your power
I have overcome
Him
And I can
Teach others
To take arms
For my covenant
Is
Semper Fidelis
To be forever faithful
And I will
Fight this
Spiritual battle
In faith
In word
In deed

9/8/01 jdh
For Charles Joseph Canning, USMC

My gut hurts from laughing, and here's why...

Let's set the scene...me the football hater extraordinaire was visiting Cheryl and David last night and yes, I watched the super bowl (Live and Let Die was the best part!!!!). My brother calls from the outback hills of Missouri. When he finds out that I'm there, he sends me a little message via Cheryl, "there is language on your blog that is unbecoming of a lady." Now please keep in mind this is slightly paraphrased from what he actually said, because every time I recall this memory I start to bust a gut again. And now in response to my brother, "WHATEVER!"

More poetry is forthcoming. I say that because it's stuck in my brain somewhere. Later.....

I wrote this in honor (or whatever) of black history month.

"My Reply"
2/6/97 jdh

I too have a dream
Not of liberty or equality
But one of eternity
Impossible as it may seem

I too have a vision
I too have seen the promised land
Where my Father & I walk hand in hand
No more division

I too will be free at last
I'll thank God Almighty personally
And He'll say gracefully, "Well done"
And all will have passed

More thoughtful words for Jesse :-)

Well thank you Lord, I finally found it. I've been searching for this poem for weeks. Enjoy!

This pen
that paints a picture
tells a story
stains a shirt...
Is it really a tool?
Can it convey
and comprehend?
Does it really know
when the answer marked
is wrong?
Does it become enraged
and jealous when
another utensil is used?
Can it sense when its
life force is near empty?
Can it feel the embrace
of fat fingers?
And when it lays
down, is it
at peace with its
surroundings?
When a task is done,
does it yearn
for more?
How much can it give?
How long can it last?
How long until it
realizes that its
parameters are
defined by...
CLICK

"artist's tool"
6/21/01 jdh

1/29/05 - the good, bad, and the regretful

WOW! Let me first say that I was given a ticket to the OKC vs Tulsa hockey game and the seat was in a great locale...where the team comes out of the locker room and onto the ice (sure it was near the Tulsa locker room, but who cares?!?). It was also my niece Sammy's 18th birthday (cringe, here comes another grey hair). There was a group consisting of 3 guys, 2 chicks sitting in the row in front of us. They were a neat bunch, and one of them was the kind you want to take home to momma (hell yeah). They turned around during the third period of the game and said to me, "Do you realize how bad you're making us look? Not only do you know the Blazers on a first name basis, but you know the Oilers as well. But you are really knowledgeable of the sport and it's been crazy listening to the two of you get into the game." What a neat compliment. Sammy and I chuckled and said thanks.

Then the bomb dropped. And it was one of those "dirty" bombs with all the bits of metal in them. Kevlar (spelling?) and body armor would not have helped. The game was over...Tulsa beaten on their home ice by the Blazers (hell yeah). So Mr. Take-Me-Home-To-Momma asks his pals what the game plan was. They couldn't agree on anything, so he turns around and says, "Let's ask these fine ladies. Would you like to go out drinking with us?" Oh Lord, I was about to start crying. I wanted so badly to say yes, but I turned them down because I was not about to take my niece out clubbing, pubbing, or whatever. I turned to Sammy and asked her if she was going to be pouty face all the way home, and of course she said yes. I just shrugged and told her that I was not going to go out and drink in front of someone who doesn't drink, whether by age limits or by choice. So to try and make up for it, I took her downstairs at the Tulsa Convention Center and we waited for the guys to come out of the locker rooms. Then we followed the team bus to Wendy's and ate a late supper with the guys. So I guess the night ended up on a good note for her, but not for me. I'm torn apart by the whole affair. I enjoy taking my friends & family to hockey games and doing silly stuff every-so-often, but I can't shake this feeling: that I wish I had gone to Tulsa by myself so I could have gone out after the game. In the end, I know I made the right decision, but why do I feel so much regret about it?

1/26/05 part two

Congratulations are in order. It is January the 26th and I have only broken one of my three new year's resolutions. Here they are: 1) stop drinking all carbonated beverages. 2) start keeping a better check register. 3) decrease usage of my favorite word, you know the one, it rhymes with duck. So guess which one I have broken. Come on, isn't it just completely fucking obvious? Ha-ha!

Seriously though...I've not been saying it everyday. But last night in the span of approximately two minutes I used it at least three times, maybe four (damn stupid pathetic hockey refs).

By the way...have I told you lately that I hate my job and despise my boss? Of course I do love it when she leaves, then I just sit around, goof off, and blog.

I hate having to make up a title...

...which is precisely why half of what I write is marked "untitled." But that's a title though, right? I mean it's the same thing as Logan County putting up a sign on no-name-road that actually says "no-name road." It defeats the whole purpose! Now I shall step off my soap box and give you this to ponder...

If you are truly
America's favorite,
then why are you
sitting at a table
by yourself?
Why is your
face so red
with fury?
Have your people
spurned you?
If you could
be seen now,
the laughter would
echo eternally.

"heinz ketchup bottle"
4/22/96 jdh

They Just Keep Getting Younger

Holy cow! For the first time ever I think I'm part of a fad when the fad is still in full swing! (If anyone understands that, please read further).

So my hockey team went 0/3 this weekend, but who cares, I still love the sport. Two back-up goalies were brought into the lineup because of injuries and family things. These two guys are so baby-faced, but I get the feeling that it's all a front and they're really pushing 30 (like me - HA). Now my current fave player is approx. 22 or 23. Not too bad for a 29-year-old. Well one of the new goalies, who just happens to be the new fave player, turns out to be 20. Holy crap I'm completely robbing the cradle with this one. But I complemented him on his game, told him I liked what I saw (in the hockey sense). Then I asked him for a picture and told him that he had a great smile (and yes I was being sincere). Then my pal Meredith told me "He's only 20!" This thing is giving me a complex.

Well, I'm sorry for this mindless insane babble. Stay tuned for tomorrow and insane poetry. HA!

Hope I don't erase this.....AGAIN!

Eulogy for Caffeine
2/6/97 jdh


trapped, confined
let motionless
within a curved
environment
no walls
just a circular
fence
the great wall
of china
empty
half-empty, half-full
over the rim
never knowing content
nothing can fill this void
hot, scalding
muddy liquid
penetrates
awakens
set the nothingness
in motion
still not enough
piercing, shattering
a cream scream
as powder
drifts like snow
through the
china wall
burnts ashes cinder
as the pseudo-snow
spirals to its death
aided by a
metal apparatus
darkness
brought by
oval being
specks of
light
only to
reveal
a diminished
supply
lower levels
wasting away
back again
to the big
empty
room
within the
great wall
of china


this is the author's first attempt at surrealism. if you get it, good. if you don't get it, well that's the whole idea! current scribblings pending...

(#$&%^$ stupid blog

Oh I could scream! I had just finished typing out my entry, I was highlighting the text to change the font color, and crap if it all didn't just disappear. Well be patient worthy readers, as soon as I calm down, I try to re-post my thoughts...blankety blank blank!

Bumper Stickers

I've come up with a new bumper sticker slogan: "Having your nose rubbed in shit is for pets who crap on the floor, not for hard working employees looking for a little respect!" I can just see all the reports on the news about tail gating and car wrecks from trying to read stickers on cars. Perhaps it's not such a hot idea after all. Those of you who have kept up with the blog now have an update on my current work situation.

In other news - Tuesday's party was awesome! My digital camera died and I only got about 5 or 6 pics, but I was in arm's length of hockey divinity all night long. I also got serenaded by six tone-deaf Canadians 'twas ever-so-magical. But seriously, I had a blast. I got to meet some of the eye candy - I mean players - and I also got to talk to head coach Doug Sauter. I met this girl named Meredith and she's as crazy as I am. All night long she kept saying, "Ooh cut me off a piece of that!" To which I replied, "Hell just give me the whole thing." And the best part is...I didn't make a fool out of myself. I talked with the guys without drooling, stuttering, sighing, or playing the blinky-eyelash-game like the 'arena trash' girls do. They know that I'm real.

I've been browsing other blogs recently just to get some inspiration and ideas for writing. I came across alot of poets and authors. I should start posting my poetic thoughts. I'm just afraid of copyright infringement and stuff like that. I don't want someone stealing my words, my thoughts, or my soul and getting praise for what I've done (hey, I already deal with that kind of shit at work. I don't need it from my blog family too, ya know what I mean?) Anywho poetry to come in the near future. I may dig in the archive and then after the new year write something fresh.

Love to all and remember if you don't hear bones crunching, the body check was null and void. Ooh, another good idea for a bumper sticker!!!

The rabbit is lucky after all....

That's the best part about going to Chinese restaurants -- reading the Chinese zodiac again! It's funny because I usually go with my mom and she's also a rabbit, and yet we're completely different, but that's a good thing otherwise I'd have to kill myself.

But seriously my lucky rabbit year/sign is 24 hours away from paying off. After scrimping, saving, and working myself sick with a second job, I was able to purchase the thing I most wanted -- season hockey tickets for the OKC Blazers. (hopefully I'll be at the plexiglass next year). Tomorrow night is the ticket holder Christmas party and the players will be there! As an added celebration I will be unveiling my Christmas present from-me-to-me....I got my digital camera out of lay-a-away finally. So I'll be going home and reading the manual before tomorrow night. I'll probably also be spending some time on the phone with my Mary Kay consultant asking her what to wear. JOKE! I'm thinking jeans, t-shirt, and my 'bah humbug' hat. Won't I be the life of the party!

In other news -- yesterday I attended church for the first time in two weeks. It was a great worship experience. I kept apologizing to God for being a hockey heathen instead of a pew dweller. Oh yeah, the sermon was pretty good, too. Have I mentioned that I'm not related to anyone there? That's the best part, well, it's a perk anyways.

I love rambling on this site, but I must be going. Semper Fidelis, Semper Expertis to my nephew Joe and his MEU! Hugs to Tristan and Michelle!