Things I've learned since moving to downtown OKC

1. Driving the I-40 cross-town when the wind comes sweeping down the plain ain't a good thing -- especially if you drive a Ford Explorer.

2. Getting up early just to make it to work on time is a good thing -- especially when you get to see the firemen out for their morning jog -- yummy!

3. Living 10 blocks from the library does not give you leniency with regard to late fees -- damn!

4. Deciding to have the paper delivered ain't a good thing -- especially when your neighbors are vicious pathetic little pig bastard thieves.

5. Even though the dude next door with the obnoxious ball of fluff has moved out, you should still seriously consider buying that 15' python -- and go ahead and give it the most obvious of names, even though it's against your better judgment.